Remake or Continuation of Classics V

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY
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Hello amigos, it's been a while since I did a segment such as the one that is underway. Your fellow amigo beaner has been busy with work, lazy time, and UNCHARTED EFFIN 2! But I digress. Today we look at a game that I consider was a system seller for the SNES: Donkey Kong Country.

Pictured: A system seller...cause it was ONLY for Nintendo (as seen on box)

The reason I say 'system seller' is because as far as I can recall, the game was bundled with new SNES when it came out. Not many games got that honor, the only other ones I remember are Super Mario World (no duh), and Killer Instinct (see previous RCC blog entry). Back in the golden age of Platforming Awesomeness, a game needed to have traits that would make it stand out above the rest. Just like we have to many frigging FPS now a days, platformers dominated the 16-bit era; unlike FPSs from now-a-days, platformers back then were so varied and offered so many possibilities that people weren't getting the same iteration over and over getting ripped off for a rehashed pile of recycled crap.

Pictured: no, your eyes aren't lying to you, that indeed IS what recycled crap looks like

Now where to open this can of awesomeness? Let's begin with the graphics: as stated in the box the adventure was 3-D which back in the day was a new tech. that developers were toying with. Now despite the 3-D aspect, the gameplay being platformer by nature was more of a 2-D style though the objects and backgrounds did stand out as not 2-Ds like others (though not 3-D-ish in my opinion). The mechanics on the gameplay were top notch. Unlike crappy platformers where the characters defyied physics via bad controls/invisible pixels, DK had awesome controls that were responsive and precise, the polished graphics made it awesome to just look at from time to time.

As far as the story line, you played as Donkey or Diddy Kong, yes you had a choice to play as either one, it didn't matter. Characters were switched at any point, so long as you had both of them. In essence you had 2 lives and if either character got taken out, you could get that character back by finding a barrel labeled 'DK.'




Throughout the game you also had the chance to use several awesome animals which added both fun and unique which wasn't found with other games at the time.

Pictured: best helpers ever, kiss off YOSHI

If you noticed from the video, another epic win for this game was the MUSIC. The mix of 16-bit goodness with the rhythm of a fast paced platformer and the mix of a jungle beat made it a winning game. The levels and the boss fights were both difficult yet fun. I specifically remember the fun jungle levels at the beginning to the minecart-riding levels, to the various underwater levels that were frustrating yet fun (like your mom). The final boss (croc named King K. Rool) was a memorable fight for all reasons mentioned on why the game was awesome.



Aw, such an awesome game...

Now, I know that there were 2 sequels and even though Donkey was absent in them (as far as I know), Diddy just didn't cut it for me. I never got into the 2nd installment and so I didn't even consider the 3rd so for me there's only 1 GOOD Donkey Kong.

Pictured: what? a DK game? no, I don't see it.

When the N64 came around I wasn't too enthusiastic to get one given my biggest peeve for it was it's controller. As I went into the Playstation park, I didn't play the N64 installment of DK so I can't say how it was. But back to the main point of this segment: WE NEED A NEW DONKEY KONG! I know he and Diddy made appearances on Mario Kart(s) and Super Smash Bros, but I've yet to see them on new consoles in their own game. It's not like it's difficult to draw up a story for them to take part in. Granted if a game came out, it'd most likely be on the Wii, but that'd make like 4 good games for the Wii which may entice me to get one.

So please RARE, make it happen. This makes 2 RARE games on my list (Killer Instinct being the first) by the way.

A Remake of Donkey Kong gets my Chuck Norris Thumb of Approval!

Ask the AFC: Your Take on Premarital Sex?

Good evening fellow readers/bloggers,

It's time for another installment of Ask the AFC. We had quite a bit of positive feedback from our last segment (no surprise since this is AFC we're talking about), that we decided to talk to the man that gives it to us with no hidden surprises.

We caught up with our boy o'wonder in a very prestigious and exclusive bar in the heart of Manhattan, New York.

AFC's got lasers!!!!!

We realized (like always) that his time is valuable and so we got right down to this weeks topic: Premarital Sex.

Hey AFC!
Oi!

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us today. This week's topic is premarital sex. What is your take on it?
Don't do it.

Ok, what else?
Just don't do it.

Fair enough. AFC everyone...

And thus with that, our insight into the neutral mindset took off to another club nearby where he was going to chill with a list of country singers that were in town that day. Yes, the interview was that short (no pun intended) but like always, the man goes right to the point and takes care of the business at hand (like your mom).

Remember friends, if you have suggestions for more questions on this and other of Amigo's segments just drop a message or comment. 'Til next time.

What Grinds My Gears II

Registering To Post A Comment

Hello once again amigos! It's been a while since this segment has been on this platform, but oh well. Today we discuss the frustration and time consuming process of registering on a website just so that you can post a comment.

Today I found myself at Gamepro.com (per Google Reader link shared by my good friend Ranting Pikey). The link was for an article titled "Top 10 Games You Need for a Playstation 3 (PS3)" and naturally as most of you know me or sometimes label me as a 'sony fanboy' I was curious to see what, if any, games were on their list...

Pictured: Site now on my 'dislike' list...almost as bad as Kotaku

Now, without going into too much detail or making this a pure gaming post, I'll just cut to the chase. The list of games that 'NEEDED' to be in ps3 owners' libraries were all MULTIPLATFORM with the exception of 2 or 3 (Fat Princess, inFAMOUS). Honestly, why would you recommend games for a system if they look or play better on another? If it's a PS3 list why not have PS3 exclusive only games?

Man is this game fun!!!

After thinking it over and counting to 10...twice! I realized I would not be content until I got some form of satisfaction (like your mom). That's when I decided I'd just leave them a note on how the list does not pertain well to the title of their article. I figured my input was just as good as any other persons as feedback is usually not taken too heavily, especially on gaming sites. Well, that's when I ran into a problem...

Are you serious??????

Yes, in order to post anything I had to register with the site. W...T...F? It took me about 2 minutes to fill out their b.s. application, then another 2 minutes for their confirmation email to hit my mailbox. So 5 minutes later I'm finally able to make 'a' comment. That's 5 minutes that I should NOT have had to take. Friends, do sites really gain anything from having people register? I mean, sure they want to make sure that people don't spam their message boards or forums, but aside from that it's not like people get rewarded from becoming members. Such a waste of time...my Beaner time! lol

By the way here is my post (once I finally got it to post):

Pictured: Partial Satisfaction...

Notice Exhibit A where I ask them how to get out of there; Exhibit B you'll notice a thumbs up on my comment. Yes, I didn't care if I was only making 1 post, I thumbed myself up(not in a perverse way).

Considering all the time I spend surfing the web during my days and nights, I'm surprised I haven't encountered more situations like these because I'm guessing it's more common than I think, but I had not gotten this stirred up about an article in a while and so I guess that's why I'm addressing it now and not a while back. Oh well, i guess things eventually come around (like your mom).

And that my friends:

Ask the AFC: Are Filesharing/Torrent sites Bad?

Hello peeps!

I would like to introduce a new segment to this week: Ask the AFC. Here we will talk, debate, sometimes argue over random things, events, what have you. As far as why I picked AFC for this segment, simple: he gives it to you straight and to the point, you don't get B.S. answers leading around the issue, no sir. This man will tell you how it is (from his viewpoint which is usually very neutral or 'the norm'), 'nuff said. My side notes/commentary are in blue.Let's start...

This week we caught up with AFC in the beaches of New Zealand:

Stay classy AFC...

He took some time off his precious schedule to discuss this week's topic. The following is a transcript (shortened at some parts) of our dialogue:

What is your view on downloading files via torrents/fileshare?
you may as well take your computer to a free STD clinic afterward
If you can't tell, AFC tries to make us educated in medical terminology. I had to look up what an 'STD' was and lemme tell you, he knows what he's talking about.

Can you elaborate?
those kind of file sharing websites are NOTORIOUS for being loaded with lots of viruses and spyware

First, the filesharing programs, are you aware of them? if so, any that you can name?
not really, I've never had a reason to search them out; kazzaa and limewire I've heard of
He forgot ARES (my personal favorite), as well as BearShare

Pictured: AFC wants NO part in this...too sour for his taste

Now the fact that files are 'shared' via a client, similar to as 2 friends through a chat client, does that make the program bad?
in theory no, but the reality is they are NOT shared because the media never has to be returned and both parties can use it at the same time
But what if people rent it?

On a tangent off that, do you think physical media will one day become obsolete?
the reason digial media is being jammed down our throats is to eliminate things like loaning the games to friends and resellers like Gamestop. But by and large, I don't know many people who prefer purely digital media. I'd much rather have a physical copy. That being said...I think it'll be more of an equilibrium
I agree with him on this one. Despite a lot of things going digital, we're not at a point where every consumer can download Gigabytes of data in minutes, no, it takes hours. I also think there's too many people who enjoy the sense of having a tangible source of media.

Let's talk about websites or Torrent providers you said early on they carry viruses and malicious software?
they're well known for it. I don't use em so I don't ask about them so I don't know about them

Alright, next i'm going to give you some 'scenarios' and I'd like to see if the actions are justified w/filesharing...

scenario a) Let's say you bought the latest Garth Brooks CD somehow it gets misplaced (cause AFC doesn't lose things...ever) Since you paid for a copy, would it be fair for you to obtain the content via fileshare/torrents?
arguably yes. But you and I both know situations like that NEVER happen. It may have happened twice in the history of the Internet. It would be easier and wiser to find someone else who had bought the CD and burn a copy

finally scenario B) you stumble upon a CD (via torrent/fileshare) of an artist that no longer records and whose CDs you can't find in any major online or physical retailer would filesharing/torrents be 'ok' to use?
I suppose that falls into the same logic I used when I downloaded emulators of only nes, genesis, and snes but really, outside of mexican tuba/accordian band how often does that happen?
Oh AFC, you know me too well... :'-)

Well, he had me there. And thus concluded our conversation. AFC everyone...

For those that wish a topic to be discussed on 'Ask the AFC' simply email or leave your feedback. He's a busy man but I'm sure he can find time for his fans, or your mom (zing!).

Amigo's Review: The Final Destination (3d)

It's been a while since my last post, but oh well. Today we look at a recent movie release:

Pictured: vomit

So this weekend, yours truly and some comrades went up to the Twin Cities (awesome weekend), and while there our schedule made it difficult to catch a showing of 'Inglorious Basterds' or 'District 9' so we opted for what we thought was an alternative...plus the sound of a 3d horror film sounded 'new' and 'different' but in a good way. Thus we embarked on a journey to which I wish we had not gone.

Premise: For those unfamiliar with the series (like myself), the premise behind this series is the following: random person is able to foresee catastrophic, horrific events that involve mass amounts of people and objects just making an endless long chain of events that trigger something which causes people to die in very obsucre and sometimes cruel ways.



With that said, most of the movie obviously revolves around the protagonist trying to figure out why he's having weird visions or dreams and he finally realizes he's seeing how people will die next, but the problem is that he has to find the people first to help them avoid death in hopes of breaking this 'chain' since people (survivors of initial mass death) are dying in the order they were 'supposed' to die.

Obviously this being a horror film, there are plenty of deaths. I won't spoil it much but don't be too surprised with the ending. This film reminded me of the 'Saw' series (Saw > Final Destination in my opinion); however, unlike 'Saw' this series relies too much on things and certain triggers coming together in a perfect timing/alingment sort of like when 'all the stars align in the skies' which to me seemed to be their biggest flaw and thus their downfall. I mean, the deaths in 'Saw' are gruesome too but they don't require you to believe many things other than 'oh crap, it's a puzzle of death.'

Now don't get me wrong, there were some good aspects of the film.

Good aspect of the film

At times it seemed that the film did show lots of promise (like your mom); you felt a sense of suspense because you knew something sudden was coming but you didn't know when. Also, the 3d factor was a good way of seeing the deaths and getting a better sense of 'depth' so as to make the screen jump out (duh).

However, the overall film (which was short in my opinion; about 1hr and a half it seemed like) didn't capitalize on giving that 'horror' feel. If you take out the long detailed death scenes which are rewound and then played over again, you get a story that could probably have been told in 10 minutes. I haven't seen that many 3d films but I can say this is no 'Beuwulf' or that ride at Hong Kong Disnelyand which was awesome less mainlanders.

<>
Pros:
+3d adds new way of seeing death
+Hot chicks
+Crazy deaths

Cons:
-no real story
-not that scary
-too 'fake'; not all the things that are triggered would actually happen in real life
-not the best acting I've seen; no big name stars
-final destination cow has been milked too much

Overall, I don't think I got my $13 worth. Though I could have kept the glasses, why would I keep them? They would serve me no real purpose. Unless you're a fan of the series, put it on your last resort movie if you get to the theaters and there's no other movies playing at that time.

This movie gets 2.5 out of 5.0 of my mexican rocking beans

Remake or Continuation of Classics IV

ADVENTURE ISLAND
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It's another great edition of RCC. This week we're taking a look at a platformer which I first played in the arcades and then on my home console and now a days in my emulator: Adventure Island.

Now, I believe this game first made its appearance in the arcades but I remember seeing it on the NES more frequently. In any event, it was part of the big trend back then which was 'platformers.' Given the success of our beloved plumbers: Mario and his green attired brother (sidekick nobody), many games tried to capitalize on the success of a platformer and so the platforming cow kept giving and giving whilst companies kept milking and milking.

Pictured: the source of Chocolate Milk, nice and fresh!

Unlike the treatment of cows now-a-days (fuck you Activision), back then companies knew when enough milking was enough, but I digress. Adventure Island was what it said: an adventure...on an island. You took control of a leaf/hula skirt, shirtless, cap wearing dude whose feet were in constant motion. You didn't really get any 'plot' which was common with platformers at the time. You basically (as a gamer) knew that you had to from left to right and that was the idea. Plus the cover was like many NES covers: very demanding of your imagination and very good at sucking you into buying what 'seemed' as a great game...in this case it was.

Just look at it: you, on a dinosaur with a boomerang...with sea creatures, UFOs, volcanoes...I want this game!

Published by Hudson Soft, this game was indeed a fun filled adventure. Again, like many others of its time, its difficulty level wasn't for n00bs. Without access to the internet back then for tips, walkthroughs, or strategies there was nothing left to do but take the game like a man and just keep trying. As seen in the footage, the object of the game wast to get to the end of the level before the health meter ran out of juice which you could replenish along the way by eating the different fruits you came along. Your primary weapon was a hammer/rock thingamagig which could later be upgraded to shoot out more per throw. You also could stumble upon boomerangs which in my opinion were the better weapon.

You also had the chance to obtain a skateboard in some levels...yes, a skateboard on an island, NICE! With it you could move quicker obviously but as soon as you got hit or stumbled on one of the many rocks in your path (which could be destroyed w/upgraded hammers/boomerangs). It took practice but if you could master the skateboard you could practically ride it all the way through (like your mom).

And so, this first installment was so good (I presume) that they released a sequel for it on the Godly SNES.

Wow, now it's 'SUPER'...mine carts, tiki men chasing you, dragons, more boomerang...shit, I want this one too!

Once again, Hudson published this installment and in the arcades it was such a success...at least, the arcades I played it at, which was back in Home Country.

Me back in home country...break dancers aint got shit on me

I remember as a kid the amount of tokens the locals had to spend the first time a group of them played the game through entirely...it was a lot. However, once they saw all levels once, it was a matter of time before secret levels, lives and shortcuts were discovered. As far as the gameplay, I could play the game over and over. I'll admit that after beating it a couple of times, the levels seem 'short' but it's so much fun that it doesn't matter. The story, which this game did have unlike it's predecessor was your typical "rescue the damsel":



As you can see, the graphics for the time were nice and colorful, but in my opinion it was the music that really made the game great.










Yes, it was relevant to show the whole game in it's awesomeness and yes, our friend does get some luvin as any hero would...except for Link.

'nuff said

So in closing, Adventure Island is something that we or I, would like to see redone or continued. Now a days there's not that many platformers so it wouldn't have too much competition. Personally, I think we've gone into a trend where now a days it's all about shooters and iterations of same shit in new packages (fuck you again Activision). The game has so much random crazy things that result in an overall fun experience. As seen in gameplay vids above, the guy eats fruit to stay alive, and whilst skateboarding he wears protective gear...food, safe skating, what else do mothers want from a video game? Please mothers, don't answer that.

So yeah, this game gets my Chuck Norris Thumb of Approval!

Amigo's Review: Fat Princess

Ok, so here's my first video game/movie/what have you review...

Last Thursday, July 30th, 2009 the Playstation Network released the long awaited (by those of us 'informed' gamers) "Fat Princess." Seen at E3 and hyped for a good reception, this long awaited download can simply be described as: Fun, Addictive, Hilarious, Cheesy, Frustrating, and overall: "lol." Yes, I know 'lol' isn't really an adjective but in my opinion (which is the one that matters in this site), the term suits the game very well. So, let's get started.

Premise: Fat Princess is basically a simple "Capture the Flag" game but with twists...and you don't have to do any physical exercise which is a plus. Anyways, you're assigned to either the Blue team or the Red team (you can switch teams after each match if you so desire). As far as the scenarios/settings go, you can start off in a typical wooden area, a shipwrecked beach stage, a hot lava/volcanic stage, a rocky cliff stage, a simple meadows stage, or a deserty stage (I'm sure there are others but I can't recall them). Teams start opposite each other inside their castle walls. When you start, your avatar (which is customizeable) is guided (by you) to pick up any of the hats lying by their respective machine workshops:

Worker

This guy is the resource gatherer (wood and stone), he makes it possible to upgrade other characters' classes as well as the one who makes it possible for you to build your castle gates (or repair them), your catapult (which in some stages flings you right to the opposing castle), bridges (that only your team can cross), and ladders (used to get into enemy castle). He can later upgrade into a Pyro/Bomber who carries infinite bombs and useful when fully charged. (Fully Charged attacks are performed by holding/charging the square button).

Warrior

Your muscle and power land attacker. Warriors are quick, agile and very responsive to attacks/blocks. You begin with a warrior bearing shield and sword but later on you can upgrade them to a warrior that carries pike and shield. Though pikes deal more damage, they are slower and take longer to charge for a heavy attack.

Mage

Mages or Wizards as you may call them, are your 'mass control' units. When charged, they deal damage to opponents that are within their circle of reach. You begin with a fire mage who can later get upgraded to an Ice mage who is great in slowing down opponents, especially when escorting your troop(s) that are carrying the princes(sses).

Archer

Archers are obviously your long range unit (However, mages too can shoot long range though with weaker attacks). Archers have the longest reach and can later be upgraded to Gunmen who sport an old school musket that when fully charged for a heavy attack deals 3 shots at once in a "<" pattern to cover more area.

Priest

Priests are the healers in your team. They can either heal individually (great as a backup when leading an attack), or when fully charged they heal comrades within their reach circle. Later on they can be upgraded to what I call a 'Dark' priest who leeches health off the enemy individually or within his circle reach when fully charged.

The Princesses

These are the 'flags' of the game. You begin with the opposing princess in your castle cell/dungeon. To wint the game you need both princesses in your castle: one in the throne and one locked up. Whilst you upgrade your stations/classes andt try to infiltrate the enemy castle, you can have any team member grab a slice of cake and give it to the enemy princess who will down it with much hunger (like your mom). The more cake you feed her, the more difficult it will be for the opposing team to carry her fat ass over to their castle.

And that pretty much sums up the set up. As far as gameplay, it is extremely fun even with bots who are actually quite good, but overall games can last upwards of 30min-1hr unless it's set up to a certain time limit at which point the team with the most points wins. Here's a sample walkthrough:



As you saw, it can get quite gory, but in a fun way. Though you can do a single player 'campaign' it's best suited for online. There's no option for 2 player or co-op play but I doubt you need it. The game makes it so that it is essential for teammates to communicate as they play. You can't just rush in since the opposing castle doors are usually well defended and take a while to knock down. Also, it's important that not everyone chooses a non-worker class since without workers you can't upgrade and you can't repair. Along the way to the enemy castle are outposts/towers which can be captured by either team. Usually an unattended outpost will become your teams outpost if you stand by it and wait for the meter on the outpost to fill up in your team's color. Outposts can then be used as a place to hit enemies from or to heal if you sit on them long enough.

The game ends (as mentioned) when one team has both princesses. When a team gets the second princess and sets her (either on the throne or in the cell), a timer begins and if the timer ends with the princesses still in the castle, the game ends. Upon the game ending you can see scores of all players and even vote for what stage you want to play in next.

<>
Pros:
+Addictive online multiplayer: the more players the better, though bots are quite good
+Voice chat with teammates: best to help organize attacks
+Variety of classes
+Variety of stages
+HD visuals: game looks beautiful
+Audio: everything from the game sounds to the phrases said by the characters (enemy princess often says 'cakey please!' lol...or by the announcer/narrator. (in 1 game which our team lost, the announcer said "you got pwned" LoL)

Cons:
-Getting connected to online: online is fun but it takes several attempts (3-5) to find a game and it's not because there's no games out, it's just the server gets glitch (which Titan studios has already addressed will get patched up).
-Respawn counter sometimes gets delayed. (I've sometimes gotten knocked off cliffs and it takes a while to register my player's death).
-Occasional lag: you'll hit enemy players who will remain untouched and then kill you but then they die as your attacks catch up

Overall, the game is extremely fun. And for 15 USD, it's quite a purchase. The hype was sure worth the 'weight' and its cost is well worth it. As mentioned, the only main issue is joining an online game which gets frustrating after 5 attempts or more, but otherwise once you're in you can go at it for well over an hour (as with your mom).

This game gets 4.5 out of 5.0 of my mexican rocking beans